The golden town - Part 1.
Protagonist: Rina
WC: 600
Prompts:There is an argument AND There is fear of an impending misfortune WC: 600
My name is Rina now, and my mother calls herself Dora. I can’t
remember my name from before, mother forbade me from saying it again. I
treasured it in my mind for a while, but eventually it seemed pointless to hold
onto it.
I remember the first time I asked my mother why the 20 of us
who remained changed our names, along with that of the town. Her brief answer did
not satisfy my curiosity. The next time I questioned her I was answered with a look
that convinced me to stay quiet on the matter forever.
The only option I was left with was to spy on the conversations
of the Venti.
‘We have to get rid of them.’ Rollick said.
‘What do you mean?’ – My mother.
‘You know exactly what I mean Dora.’
‘Then you should say it Rollick. Stop beating around the bush.’
I couldn’t see her face from where I hid behind the stacks of
chairs, but I knew that tone. It was a dare.
‘Kill!’
The angry shake in Rollick’s voice made my stomach quiver with
fear. No one spoke for a long time, and it felt as though that word was echoing
around my head.
‘You’re talking about murdering 313 people.’ – Dr. Lazzo? I
needed to see. I wriggled between the chair legs to get closer.
‘I’m talking about protecting the Fountain of Truth.’ Rollick’s
voice still shook.
I could see feet.
‘Even if we did as you say others would come. The Culdees are dying,
our eastern border is vulnerable.’
Knees!
‘Then we’ll use the Dark Ages as inspiration…heads on spikes! That
would send potential intruders running in the opposite direction. Even if
someone had Traylor’s journal it might give them pause for thought.’ What did
Rollick mean about Traylor?
As soon as I could see their faces I wished I couldn’t. They
all looked terrified. My stomach was in knots.
‘This is a Venti decision, Rollick. We must all agree on what
action to take.’ – Dr. Lazzo.
Rollick looked away and directly at me. I jumped back a second
too late and without thought for the precariously balanced chairs above me.
When one toppled it set off a chain reaction across the piles.
‘Rina!’ My mother rushed forward to pull me free while the
others just stared.
A few of the chairs hit my head hard. Tears threatened, but I wouldn’t
let them see me cry. I channelled the pain into anger.
‘What are you doing here?’ Rollick clearly thought I didn’t
belong.
‘I’m one of the Venti; you can’t make a Venti decision without
all 20 members! Stop leaving me out!’ Even as I stamped my foot I realised I
sounded younger than ever. ‘I hate you all!’ I turned to leave.
‘Where are you going?’ Rollick blocked my exit.
‘To talk to my real
friend.’
‘Who’s this friend Dora? Has she been passing on information
to the intruders?’
‘It’s just a pretend friend.’
‘No it’s not! It’s Garrett.’
The whole room froze with wide eyes.
‘Darling, Garrett is gone. He’s dead.’
‘He’s dead, but not gone.’ The startled room did nothing to
stop me leaving.
I heard the Venti members chasing me. Blinded by frightened tears
I bumped into Mr Cluthe, a sickly man that had arrived just two weeks ago, he
stumbled backwards a few steps.
I barely paused.
Mr Cluthe heard the approaching search party and called after
me.
‘Why are you running child?’
I didn’t answer. I had to get to the hidden entrance of
Heriot’s Pass where Garrett waited with the rest of the dead.
8 comments:
Hell yeah. And I love the name Garrett, always have (The Wife vetoed it when The Boy came). Great entry.
This is a note to say that I’ve been by to read your entry. As one of the judges, I don’t want to make any specific comments that could betray my judgement — keeps you guys in suspense for longer! :) Suffice it to say that I’m truly enjoying all the different and creative takes on Renaissance and the Rule of 3!
J.C.
The rest of the dead? What happened in this town? Are they ghosts or something else? I can't wait until next week to hear more. =)
The idea of the name changes and killing off most of the town are very intriguing. I'm looking forward to seeing more.
Love this line: I treasured it in my mind for a while, but eventually it seemed pointless to hold onto it.
I'm intrigued.
I like this. Great beginning. I am actually very drawn into your story. I find your characters very intriguing.
Barbara - thanks so much - I edited a lot and that was one of the lines I just couldn't get rid of.
A Kwee Life - thank you. My first draft followed along the lines of concentrating what the town had lost, and why. But with 600 words I had to get to the point...short stories are tough for me.
I really liked your not-quite-speech identifiers as Rina can't figure out who's talking. Very interesting set up - can't wait to see where you take it.
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